Lucky Lady
by TheBlondeWeasley
Summary: "Is this yours?" Dan questioned, sounding shocked and a tad horrified. "What is it?" "A thong, Phil." Sonic died. - Slash


Lucky Lady

...

"Phil?" Dan called out, voice sounding strange.

"Yeah?" I yelled back, not taking my eyes of the game. This time I was going to get through this level. Sonic and I were going to win this.

I heard footsteps behind me but tried hard to concentrate on the screen. "Is this yours?" Dan questioned, sounding shocked and a tad horrified.

"What is it?"

"A thong, Phil."

Sonic died.

There was silence as I turned to look at the lacy pair of black knickers. Dan held them awkwardly between his thumb and forefinger, looking somewhat panicked. "Uh…" I stuttered, face turning pink.

"I don't have an issue with it." Dan hastened to add.

I continued trying to stutter out an explanation but all that came out was a whimper.

"Really Phil whatever gets you… It's none of my business." Dan's cheeks were turning red as he handed me the knickers.

"They're not mine." I finally muttered, glaring at the thong balefully.

Dan breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank god…" He muttered then grinned at me. "So whose are they?"

"None of your business." I growled, leaping of the sofa and making a break for my room.

Dan jumped in front of me smirking. "You've been getting some action eh? Who's the lucky lady?"

"There is no lady…" I tried to dart around him but he grabbed my arm.

"Tell me!" Dan whined before pausing. "It's not Jameela is it? Jameela from Radio 1?" He grinned, "You two have chemistry…"

I rolled my eyes. "You sound like a twelve year old girl. Doesn't she have a boyfriend or something?"

Dan shrugged, "I don't know." He scoffed, "Would that stop you anyway you panty thief?"

"I'm not a panty thief!" I complained, "And I'm not hooking up with Jameela from Radio 1…"

"Hah!" Dan shrieked, "It's someone from Radio 1 though, isn't it?"

I sighed trying to shake off Dan's arm, to no avail. "Maybe." I muttered, "It was only once though and I'm not telling."

Dan smirked, "Yes you are." He cackled, "I will force it out of you!"

"Good luck with that." I mumbled.

"So… who's the lucky lady?" Dan said casually

"There's no lady..." I sighed and he pouted, releasing me.

"You will reveal your deepest darkest secrets Phil… I will tear them from you." Dan said dramatically before grinning and skipping away. Though he stopped skipping pretty quick, panting. "God I'm unfit…" I heard him mutter.

"Yeah, mentally unfit!" I yelled after him.

…

The bed was so warm and I clung to my pillow, snuggling into it deeper. It smelled really good, like mint body wash. "Who's the lucky lady?" A voice whispered to me.

"S'no lady…" I mumbled, wrapping my arms tighter around my strangely human pillow… Wait… "Get out!" I screeched, launching way from Dan.

"Just tell me!" He whined as I grabbed my pillow and smacked him out of my room.

…

"Ugh… baby can't you see!" I sang, doing an impromptu shower dance. "I'm falling… a guy like you… where's my shampoo?"

"Here."

I grabbed the shampoo from the outstretched hand and paused. "Dan?"

"Yeah?"

I turned to face the wall. "Get out of the shower…"

"Who's the lucky lady?"

…

"Please Phil!" I stumbled across the room, dragging Dan, who was attached to my ankle, with me.

I shook my leg hard but he held on. "Get off you lunatic!" I growled, debating whether or not kicking him would be justified in this situation.

"The moment you tell me who you're getting it on with!" He grinned, "I'll get off then."

"It's Nick!" I roared.

Absolute silence.

"Nick Grimshaw?" Dan whispered from the floor, still clinging to my leg.

I nodded, blushing. "It was a onetime thing… to be honest the thong freaked me out a bit."

Dan started chuckling maniacally. "Nick wears lacy knickers!" He snorted, "You have sex with Nick Grimshaw while he wears women's lingerie!"

"Had sex. Not have!" I protested.

Dan finally let go, rolling around snickering. "So you say you kinky bastard! Forgive me if I don't believe you…"

"It's true…" I began, only to be cut off by my phone. Oh God…

Dan smirked at my terrified expression. "Who is it?"

"Err… Nick…"

This sent Dan into another fit of laughter. "Go on answer him. I'm sure he's got something lovely planned for you, maybe a French maid's costume?"

"Shut up Dan." I whined, before accepting the call. "Hey Nick…"

"Phil!" Nick sang out, "How are you?"

"I'm horny for you!" Dan moaned into the phone before I could stop him. "You and your knickers!"

"Huh?" Nick said bemusedly, "Phil is that you?"

I hastened to assure him that it definitely wasn't me but Dan grabbed the phone and sprinted away. "Get back here!" I yelled, giving chase, only to crash into Dan's closed door. I thumped on it weakly, "Give it back…"

There was no reply.

…

An hour later Daniel Howell, world's biggest bum-face-person finally emerged. "Hello." He said brightly, flopping down on the couch beside me. "Here's your phone." He passed it to me, a grin stretching across his face.

"Have a nice chat did you?" I said grumpily.

Dan nodded. "I pretended to be you the whole time and he never suspected a thing!" He said gleefully, "Nick must be going deaf… Maybe you're too loud in bed?"

"Funny…" I rolled my eyes, "Did you really spend an hour talking to Nick, using up my credit?"

"I only talked to him for half an hour and I'll pay you back…" Dan said airily, "Don't you want to know what we talked about?"

I shrugged, "Not particularly." That was a complete lie of course. I wanted to know exactly what trouble Dan had caused so I could ring Nick and apologise. While I was at it maybe I'd wring Dan's neck too.

"Well first up he said that the other night was definitely a one off, after what you said…" Dan gasped, "What you said was very naughty indeed Philip."

I felt my face heat up. Nick hadn't really brought up the…

"Oh Dan! Yeah, mmm…" Dan moaned theatrically, smirking. "Poor Nick."

I put my head in my hands, beyond horrified. This was possibly the worst thing for Dan to find out. "Dan… I really didn't mean to."

"It's okay." Dan said simply. "Kind of hot actually."

My misery and horror paused and I looked up at him hopefully. "Kind of hot?"

Dan nodded sagely. "Very..." He leaned over and pressed his lips against mine. I smiled against his lips. This all seemed to be working out in my favour. "Though…" Dan whispered, moving back. "Nick did say that he didn't much like wearing those panties that you asked him to wear."

Damn it. "Umm…" I began.

"Just saying I draw the line at frilly pants Phil. I'd rather re-enact the skin fic…" Dan cut across me and then he grinned suddenly, "Though I do look fabulous in black."

"Arse…" I mumbled.

Dan pecked my cheek. "Maybe later I'll put on a sexy nurse's costume? Bet you'd enjoy that you pervert!" He cackled.

"Shut your mouth or I'll shut it for you." I complained.

"That a promise?"

...

* * *

_Can't say I was too fond of this... Please review and tell me what you think of it and any suggestions on how it could be improved? Thanks :)_


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